UNPLUGGED COMMUNITY

When the world shut down, churches everywhere scrambled to learn how to livestream. Pastors who once struggled to find the mute button suddenly found themselves moonlighting as producers, lighting techs, and camera-angle experts—sometimes before the doors were opened on a Sunday morning. It was during this season that I made the leap to preaching from an iPad mini at the podium.

For a while, the analytics of online ministry felt like a revival breaking out. Three thousand views! Of course, I suspect a few hundred of those folks were just trying to check the weather, but the graph was pointing up. Yessiree.

Digital ministry truly was a gift. Speaking from experience, as a transitional pastor at a struggling church during the Pandemic, it was what kept our ministry wheels turning. Our congregation already had a worship service on various social media, but what used to be an “extra” quickly became the main event. Maybe your church did something similar. We paused in-person worship whenever the public schools closed, and resumed when they reopened. We even split our Sunday mornings into two services—one “masked only,” the other “mask optional.” Attendance was up and down, but the one thing that stayed steady was our online service. It kept the Word going out, connected with our shut-ins, served folks with health or mobility challenges, and gave nervous guests a safe peek through the church window. For all that, we ought to thank God for the gift, not drag the router out to the parking lot and conduct an exorcism.

But now, a few years down the road, we have to ask a tougher question: Did we trade deeper spiritual growth for a bigger audience? Or, to put it another way, did we start treating the church’s front door like it was the living room?

The Honest Claim

Here’s the honest answer. I’m a fan of research—you’ve probably noticed I lean on it quite a bit in this series. But so far, the research hasn’t given us a clear, long-term, apples-to-apples comparison between online and face-to-face discipleship. Most studies look at worship experience, connection, mental health, or participation, but not whether believers are actually becoming more like Christ over five or ten years. Sanctification, it turns out, is pretty stubborn about fitting into a spreadsheet.

So let’s not go around saying, "Science proves online discipleship doesn’t work." The truth is more nuanced. Digital ministry can open doors and offer real spiritual help, but it usually leads to thinner participation and weaker connections than gathering in person. On the other hand, folks who regularly join church small groups tend to show several measurable signs of growing as disciples.

That may not be as dramatic as calling the internet the Antichrist, but it’s a whole lot more helpful.

A Useful Front Door and a Thin Living Room

Pew Research Center surveyed 11,377 American adults in late 2022. Among regular in-person attenders, 65 percent reported a strong connection with fellow worshipers. Among regular virtual viewers, only 28 percent felt strongly connected to the people attending in person, and 22 percent felt strongly connected to other online viewers. Only one-quarter usually felt like active participants; 32 percent felt they were watching without truly participating, while 42 percent said their experience was somewhere between the two.¹

Convenience was the most common major reason for watching online, cited by 43 percent. Convenience isn't a sin. It's also not a fruit of the Spirit. Among people who used both formats but preferred attending in person, 52 percent named connection and community as the main reason, more than three times any other answer.²

But let’s not blame online worship for empty pews. A 2024 Hartford Institute survey of over 24,000 churchgoers found that 19 percent moved back and forth between online and in-person worship, while only 4 percent stuck mainly to online. That online-only group showed lower engagement and giving. More than 60 percent of online worshipers admitted to multitasking—probably cooking dinner or ordering socks from Amazon—yet 95 percent said they prayed or meditated, 71 percent sang along, and 87 percent were satisfied with the experience.³ Apparently, you can worship while folding laundry, but I doubt the laundry is holding anyone accountable. I’ll add my own observation here: I think whether people stay focused or start multitasking depends a lot on whether they’re watching alone or with others.

To keep things in perspective, let’s say it this way: a livestream can be a real ministry, but it’s not the whole ministry. It can bring a sermon into someone’s living room, but it can’t, all by itself, bring a person into covenant life, mutual responsibility, and the daily one-anothering we see in the New Testament.

What the Research Says About Presence

A 2025 preregistered experiment offers one of the clearest direct comparisons. Forty-three adult Christians attended both an online and an in-person service in randomized order. During virtual worship, they reported lower transcendent emotion, weaker shared identity with the congregation, and less closeness to God. Their overall well-being scores didn’t differ, and the sample was really small, so one study should not be asked to carry the entire church potluck. Still, its results point toward something many pastors already sense: worship involves more than receiving information.⁴

A larger national study of 1,717 Americans reached a similar but carefully limited conclusion. After statistical adjustments, in-person religious attendance was associated with better mental and physical health; virtual attendance was not. Because the study was observational and conducted during the pandemic, it cannot prove that the gathering caused those outcomes.⁵ So we should be cautious in using this definitively. 

In addition, other findings also keep us from becoming smug. A 2025 study found that both weekly in-person and virtual attendance were associated with greater social support among women, though not among men, and that this support was indirectly related to lower psychological distress.⁶ A longitudinal study of 8,951 adults in the United Kingdom also found that online religious participation during lockdown was associated with a few positive outcomes, including lower prevalence of thoughts of self-harm among frequent participants, though there was little evidence of benefit across most of the twenty-one outcomes measured.⁷

The research isn’t telling us to pull the plug on the internet. It’s saying that online participation can help—sometimes in big ways—but it just can’t replace what happens when believers share a room, a meal, a song, a silence, and a life together.

Discipleship Is More Than Downloading Content

The clearest evidence of discipleship comes from small groups. Lifeway Research's 2026 analysis of 2,130 Protestant churchgoers found that those attending a church small group five or more times a month averaged 74.1 on its discipleship assessment. Those attending no small group averaged 60.4. Frequent participants scored especially high in building relationships, engaging the Bible, serving others, and sharing Christ.⁸

Now, that’s correlation, not proof that one causes the other. Mature Christians may simply be more likely to join groups in the first place. Still, the pattern matters, because it matches what pastors see and what the New Testament describes. People grow when they study Scripture together, watch each other walk through suffering, confess sin, receive correction, serve side by side, and sometimes find that the prayer request they almost kept quiet about brings someone to their door with a plate of brownies.

Jay Y. Kim argues in Analog Church that digital culture trains us toward speed, choice, and consumption, while Christian formation requires patience, presence, and embodied relationships.⁹ The issue is not that screens are evil. The issue is that content delivery and disciple-making are not the same assignment.

Acts 2 shows believers devoted to the apostles’ teaching, fellowship, breaking bread, and prayer. Hebrews 10:24-25 calls us to stir one another up to love and good works by meeting together. Galatians 6:2 tells us to bear each other’s burdens, and James 5:16 tells us to confess and pray for one another. All of these commands assume we’re close enough to know what’s really going on in each other’s lives. In other words, discipleship that actually works is personal, sometimes a little intrusive, often messy, and always costly.

The Word became flesh and lived among us (John 1:14, ESV). The Incarnation doesn’t mean a podcast is unspiritual, but it does keep us from treating our bodies like optional accessories. Christian discipleship is embodied because Christian people are embodied.

Six Pastoral Moves

1. Keep the digital door open

Keep livestreaming as long as your church can do it well. The key is to do it well. I’ve seen some churches that probably keep people away because they've seen their livestream. Use digital ministry for seekers, travelers, military families, folks recovering from illness, caregivers, and anyone who just can’t make it in person. Hartford’s research shows that livestreaming doesn’t automatically shrink your in-person crowd. The goal isn’t less reach—it’s reach that leads to real relationships.

2. Give every viewer a human next step

A digital service should make it easy for people to request prayer, talk to a pastor, join a class, meet a member, or show up in person. Have someone host your livestream. Karen and I did this at our home church during the Pandemic, and I promise, it’s not hard. These hosts can be the human connection that follows up. Telling people to "watch again next week" isn’t a discipleship pathway—it’s just a playlist.

3. Put groups near the center

Don’t expect the livestream to carry a load it was never meant to bear. Build strong Sunday School classes, home groups, mentoring relationships, and ministry teams where Scripture is lived out and people are truly known. Train your leaders to notice when someone’s missing, ask a second question, and go beyond just filling an hour with talk.

4. Bring presence to those who can’t come

Don’t let homebound or disabled believers become second-class members who only get church through a screen. A small 2025 study of an online Bible study for people with disabilities found real spiritual support and belonging, but also some tech headaches, isolation, and the loss of face-to-face connection. The researchers called it partial inclusion, not a complete solution.¹⁰ So, pair digital access with visits, phone calls, meals, rides, and making your spaces accessible.

A Sunday morning small group we attended set up a live Zoom feed so those in the room could see and hear those online, and vice versa. If someone can’t get to the church, the church can still get to them.

5. Count what views cannot tell you

Views, watch time, and clicks can tell you how far your message went, but they can’t measure repentance, reconciliation, service, or a growing love for Christ. Ask yourself: Are online viewers becoming known? Are they joining groups, receiving pastoral care, serving others, and helping someone else follow Jesus? A dashboard can tell you someone watched, but it can’t tell you if anyone would notice if that person stopped showing up.

6. The Church Still Needs a Body

A livestream can deliver a sermon, but it can’t notice the trembling voice in the hallway after the closing prayer, sit by a hospital bed, hand a grieving friend a tissue before they ask, or hear an evasive answer and gently ask again. Digital ministry can help the church reach someone, but only people can welcome that person into the life of the church.

Unplugged community isn’t about being anti-technology. It’s about refusing to confuse transmission with transformation. Use every faithful tool you have. Then invite people into the room, around the table, under the Word, beside the hurting, and into the work of ministry.

The church doesn’t need less reach. It needs reach that turns into real relationships—relationships where the Holy Spirit shapes people into the likeness of Christ.

I hope this gives you a balanced perspective on digital ministry. There’s so much more we could explore here, and honestly, it seems like every week brings a new technology that might bring us together or push us further apart. Wi-Fi may open the front door, but someone still has to invite people in, learn their names, and make room on the couch.

Endnotes

1. Pew Research Center, "Online Religious Services Appeal to Many Americans, but Going in Person Remains More Popular," June 2, 2023, https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2023/06/02/online-religious-services-appeal-to-many-americans-but-going-in-person-remains-more-popular/.

2. Michelle Faverio and Justin Nortey, "Why Some Americans Prefer In-Person Worship over Virtual Services," Pew Research Center, September 6, 2023, https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/06/why-some-americans-prefer-to-go-to-religious-services-in-person-and-others-prefer-to-watch-virtually/.

3. Ryan Panzer, "Liturgy in the Living Room: New Study Shows Online Church Isn't Killing In-Person Attendance," Exploring the Pandemic Impact on Congregations, June 16, 2025, https://www.covidreligionresearch.org/study-shows-online-church-attendance/.

4. Patty Van Cappellen, Camden Nelson, and Jenna F. McClear, "The Power of Presence: Well-Being and Biopsychosocial Effects of Virtual Versus In-Person Religious Services," Psychology of Religion and Spirituality 17, no. 4 (2025): 499-503, https://doi.org/10.1037/rel0000575.

5. Laura Upenieks, Terrence D. Hill, Gabriel Acevedo, and Harold G. Koenig, "'Electronic Church' 2.0: Are Virtual and In-Person Attendance Associated with Mental and Physical Health during the COVID-19 Pandemic?" Sociology of Religion 84, no. 3 (2023): 292-323, https://doi.org/10.1093/socrel/srac043.

6. Laura Upenieks and Terrence D. Hill, "Gender Variations in the Indirect Effects of In-Person and Virtual Religious Attendance on Psychological Distress during the COVID-19 Pandemic," Social Currents 12, no. 2 (2025): 111-128, https://doi.org/10.1177/23294965241300719.

7. Koichiro Shiba et al., "Associations of Online Religious Participation during COVID-19 Lockdown with Subsequent Health and Well-Being among UK Adults," Psychological Medicine 53 (2023): 3887-3896, https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291722000551.

8. Aaron Earls, "Small Group Participation Linked to Higher Discipleship Scores," Lifeway Research, August 4, 2026, https://research.lifeway.com/2026/08/04/small-group-participation-linked-to-higher-discipleship-scores/.

9. Jay Y. Kim, Analog Church: Why We Need Real People, Places, and Things in the Digital Age (InterVarsity Press, 2020).

10. Talia Opperman and Michelle Botha, "The Potential and Challenges of an Online Bible Study Group for Persons with Disabilities," African Journal of Disability 14 (2025): a1721, https://doi.org/10.4102/ajod.v14i0.1721.

MORE THAN MEETINGS AND THERMOSTATS

Every Baptist church I know has at least one person who can find the thermostat blindfolded, in the dark. Oddly enough, you won’t find that skill listed in 1 Timothy 3. Scripture expects much more of a deacon, and honestly, so should your church.

Deacons are the folks who show up where ministry gets messy—hospital rooms, church hallways, budget meetings, and those conversations that always seem to start with, “Now, I’m not gossiping, but...” I recently read a Baptist Press article, by my friend Aaron Summers, that reminded me how many crucial conversations deacons need to be ready for.¹ A church key and a list of families are handy, but neither one tells you how to listen to someone who’s grieving or what to do when a rumor starts running laps around the fellowship hall.

The church cannot ordain instinct

The Baptist Faith and Message names deacons as one of the church’s two scriptural offices.² In Acts 6, overlooked widows exposed a real need and a real threat to unity. The church appointed spiritually qualified servants to address the problem while its leaders stayed devoted to prayer and the ministry of the Word. First Timothy 3 stresses character, honesty, sound faith, and tested dependability.³

Notice what the apostles didn’t say: “Congratulations, gentlemen. Just figure it out by Wednesday.” Biblical qualifications matter, but so does getting ready for the real work ahead. Deacons need to practice meeting needs, building trust, and supporting their pastors—without accidentally becoming the church’s unofficial second pastor. Good resources on deacon ministry help connect servant hearts to real service, not just a name on an election ballot.⁴

Training isn’t a criticism of good men. It’s one of the best ways to care for them—and for the church family that counts on them. God’s people deserve servants who know what Scripture says and also know what to do when a neat answer runs headlong into a messy situation.

What Karen and I teach

Our training, Serve Well: Deacons and Wives Who Strengthen the Church, brings biblical conviction into the everyday life of the church.⁵ I help deacons see their calling to meet real needs, protect the peace, support their pastor’s ministry, and serve without confusing responsibility with authority. We practice noticing the person who’s gone quiet, listening before jumping to conclusions, asking questions that get to the heart of the matter, and speaking the truth with grace.

We start by asking deacons to consider why the church has trusted them with this work. I like to say a towel is a better picture than a gavel—servants notice needs and help others join in the care. Deacons support their pastor’s calling to prayer and the Word, but that doesn’t mean he has to handle every meal, every ride, and every tough conversation alone. And being helpful doesn’t mean running the church from the fellowship hall.

We also tackle that classic Baptist habit—telling a third person what we really ought to tell the first. A deacon needs to turn down gossip and triangulation, correct falsehood without turning it into a wrestling match, and know when it’s time to bring in the pastor. Otherwise, a simple misunderstanding can turn into a committee meeting before you’ve even had lunch. We talk about confidentiality, supporting the pastor, and knowing when helping someone has crossed over into rescuing them.

When we talk about communication, we ask deacons to listen in a way people can see and to speak with care. What did the member really say? What do we still not know? Are they asking for practical help, spiritual counsel, or just someone who will stick around long enough to hear the whole story? Saying “I’ll pray for you” is a real promise, but it shouldn’t become the church version of a quick exit. Prayer and follow-through go hand in hand.

Karen works with the wives on character, spiritual health, caring for women and families, wise communication, discretion, and setting healthy limits. First Timothy 3:11 describes women marked by dignity, faithfulness, and a refusal to slander.⁶ Just because you’re married to a deacon doesn’t mean you suddenly have the spiritual gift of endless casseroles. Wives have different gifts, responsibilities, and seasons of life. Karen helps each woman think through where she can serve well, when to bring in a pastor or another helper, and when a loving “no” is the right answer.

A deacon’s wife may hear concerns from women who aren’t comfortable talking to a male deacon. That trust is precious, and so is knowing how to use it wisely. Karen talks about how to listen, pray, ask permission before sharing sensitive information, and spot when a situation needs more help than you can give. The wife doesn’t have to play detective, become a counselor, or broadcast someone’s pain to the prayer chain. Compassion without discretion can end up hurting the very person we want to help. Couples also talk about what they can offer together, without taking on more than they should.

Practice while the crisis belongs to someone else

One of my favorite parts of the training is when deacons and wives work through real-life case studies. These are the kinds of decisions that make or break ministry in any church. We don’t ask anyone to memorize a perfect answer. Instead, we ask them to weigh the facts, apply Scripture, decide who needs to be involved, and respond faithfully.⁷

For example, what do you do when the congregation thinks the benevolence ministry has missed a few families? Accusations start flying, and longtime volunteers feel like they’re under attack. Should a deacon repeat the accusation, ask better questions, or call an emergency meeting? Or what about when a caregiver admits he’s just about out of strength? What should the deacon ask next, and how can he help without pretending to be a counselor? And when a family’s private crisis turns into public gossip, the wives talk about how to protect the family, correct a false story, and keep the church group chat from turning into the parking-lot grapevine.

That benevolence case is about more than whether someone got a check. Who might have been missed? What facts can be checked? How do deacons honor tired volunteers while still taking worried families seriously? The caregiver case reminds us that listening is urgent—when someone says, “I’m not sure I can keep doing this,” they need a gentle question, not a sermon. The rumor case shows the wives that discretion is real ministry. You can correct a lie without sharing every true detail you know.

We also look at the case of a compassionate couple who have slowly taken on just about everything for an older member. Their kindness is real, but so is their exhaustion and the strain on their own family. They have to figure out what belongs to them, what should be shared with other church members, and how to say yes to loving care without saying yes to every single request.

We give everyone time to talk through several possible responses, not just vote on the right answer. Real ministry usually means taking a first step, having a follow-up conversation, and sometimes handing things off to someone better equipped for part of the need. The case studies let us learn from another deacon’s judgment or a wife’s insight. The goal isn’t for everyone to say exactly what I would say, but for them to leave more ready to serve their own people well.

These discussions aren’t games with trick answers. They give deacons and wives a chance to test their judgment with each other before the real phone call comes in. Grace Fellowship, our made-up case-study church, can survive a clumsy first response. Your church might have to live with it.

Faithful service has limits

Some church servants think that if they can help, they must help, and if they ever say no, they’ve let God down. I get it. But I also know that kind of thinking can wear out a household and quietly teach everyone else to leave ministry to the same few reliable folks.

God is unlimited. We are not. Jesus took time to pray, didn’t answer every need the same way, and said He finished the work His Father gave Him.⁸ Sometimes saying no to one request lets a deacon say yes to what God actually called him to do. Sometimes the faithful answer is yes; sometimes yes with help; and sometimes no. We talk through those choices honestly, without acting like sacrifice is foolish or burnout is a badge of honor.

Boundaries are a lot easier to talk about in a classroom than in your kitchen with a lonely neighbor. That’s why we practice giving a clear, kind answer and inviting the church to help carry the load. A boundary shouldn’t be a sneaky way to disappear, and one household shouldn’t become the church’s entire ministry plan. Christ calls His body to care for one another, not to give every need to whoever picks up the phone.

The goal isn’t to make deacons less compassionate. It’s to make their compassion truthful, shared, and sustainable. Jesus already has the Savior job. No church needs a deacon or a deacon’s wife trying out for it.

A stronger church starts with prepared servants

Healthy deacon ministry is often almost invisible—a widow gets help, a grieving man finds a listening ear, a rumor stops before it splits friends, and a pastor can keep his focus on shepherding and the Word. Another Baptist State Convention talks about leadership development in terms of character, capacity, context, and competence.⁹ None of that just shows up when someone’s name goes on a ballot.

Karen and I would love to help your church get its deacons and their wives ready for the ministry they’ll actually face. Our training brings Scripture, honest conversation, and real-life case studies into the same room. We teach because Christ loves His church, His gospel is worth representing well, and servants need more than good intentions to care for His people.

If your last deacon training involved an overhead projector, I think we can agree it’s time for an update. Email us at jimmy@fairburnba.org to talk about scheduling Serve Well for your church. Give your deacons and wives a chance to practice before the next crisis comes calling. The thermostat will survive.

Endnotes

1. Baptist Press, “Empowering Deacons: 5 Crucial Conversations,” November 12, 2024, https://www.baptistpress.com/resource-library/bptoolbox/empowering-deacons-5-crucial-conversations/.

2. Southern Baptist Convention, “VI. The Church,” The Baptist Faith and Message 2000, https://bfm.sbc.net/.

3. The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2016), Acts 6:1–7 and 1 Timothy 3:8–13. Scripture quotations in this article are from the ESV.

4. Robert H. Thune, Gospel Training for Deacons: Equipping Servant Leaders (Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2024); Matt Smethurst, Deacons: How They Serve and Strengthen the Church (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2021).

5. Jimmy Kinnaird and Karen Kinnaird, “Serve Well: Deacons and Wives Who Strengthen the Church,” unpublished leader teaching script and participant materials, 2026.

6. The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, 1 Timothy 3:11.

7. Kinnaird, “Serve Well,” including the Grace Fellowship Church case studies, 2026.

8. The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, Mark 1:35–38; Luke 5:16; John 17:4.

9. Baptist State Convention of North Carolina, “Equipping Tracks,” https://ncbaptist.org/ministries/leadership-development/equipping-tracks/.

Pastor Appreciation Month Without Making It Weird

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.” Hebrews 13:17, ESV

October rolls around and, like clockwork, it’s Pastor and Minister Appreciation Month. This is the time when churches hit the pause button to say thank you to those who preach the Word, visit the sick, counsel the hurting, lead meetings, answer late-night calls, and, yes, patiently endure at least seventeen different opinions about the worship center thermostat. (Bless them.)

Good intentions are always there, but sometimes the way we show our appreciation can go a bit off course. Between the sheet cake, the surprise microphone, and the sixth 'World’s Best Pastor' mug, encouragement can start to feel more like a marathon than a blessing.

Let's try to do better; your pastor doesn't have to be placed on a pedestal. Instead, regard him as a person, support him in his role as a leader, and love him as a brother in Christ. When you show him thoughtful appreciation, you not only help your pastor and his family but also encourage those who give and build up the whole church.

Why Pastor Appreciation Is Good for Everybody

“We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.” 1 Thessalonians 5:12–13, ESV

It Is Good for the Church Member

Gratitude changes us. When you mention a sermon that helped you, thank your pastor for being with you at a difficult time, or pray specifically for his family, then you teach yourself to notice God's grace rather than maintaining a mental list of complaints. We hardly need reminders to keep such a list—It's kinda our unwanted superpower.

Appreciation also builds trust. When a pastor knows church members see more than just his mistakes, he can have honest, heart-to-heart conversations, offer patient counsel, and lead through difficult changes. This does not mean members stop asking questions or offering biblical correction. It means those conversations happen within a relationship shaped by love, not suspicion.

It Is Good for the Whole Church

Every congregation develops a culture around its leaders. Gratitude spreads, but so does grumbling, and grumbling often gets more attention. If church members recognize faithful service, avoid gossip, keep their days off, and share ministry responsibilities, they help create a healthier environment for pastors, deacons, teachers, volunteers, and the next generation of leaders.

A church of that type is more stable, since energy that might otherwise be spent in unnecessary conflict can instead go into discipleship, care, missions, and outreach. If a pastor has time to study, pray, rest, and look after his family, he will probably be able to lead with clarity and patience. As Hebrews 13:17 puts it plainly: helping leaders serve with joy is 'of advantage to you.' God knew about church life long before we ever formed a committee. Right?

It Is Good for the Pastor and His Family

A pastor's work doesn't stay confined to the office. An emergency call can throw off a family's evening plans. Whenever there's a conflict, someone has to go home because of it. Each Sunday sermon is the product of hours of thinking, praying, and preparation, though most people never see it. A pastor's spouse and children often bear the ministry's expenses, even though they don't have a title, a salary, or a vote at business meetings.

Showing wise appreciation involves telling the entire family, "We notice you; we do not expect you to act as unpaid workers, and we hope that ministry can be something that is sustainable for your home as well." Offers such as rest, childcare, a family trip, some privacy, practical assistance, or a gift based on a real interest can ease a real burden. Only when the family is looked after can the pastor serve without feeling that his loyalty to the church means sacrificing his home.

This is not a formula for personal gain—honor your pastor and suddenly find the perfect parking space at Cracker Barrel. In fact, the benefits go far beyond that. When people are generous, generosity is likely to increase. Encouragement restores courage. When responsibility is shared, time and energy become available for ministry. Blessings increase because a healthier pastor, a supported family, and a grateful congregation can all give more to one another.

Before You Buy Another Mug

Good intentions need a plan. The free guide More Than a Mug: Pastor and Minister Appreciation Month Ideas That Truly Bless was created for churches, Sunday School classes, small groups, personnel committees, deacons, and individual members. It helps churches move beyond a one-off effort in October and build a lasting culture of honor, encouragement, rest, and thoughtful care for pastors, ministers, staff, and their families. The guide includes a four-week plan, family-sensitive ideas, meaningful suggestions for gifts, ways to give back time, leadership support, financial warnings, and ready-to-use planning prompts.

Don't put off until October. Get your free copy of More Than a Mug right now by going to fairburnba.org/pastor-appreciation. We also have a limited number of print copies and will be glad to mail you one if you request it. We did mail two copies to each of our churches in the FBA, one to the Personnel Committee and one to the Deacons. October is a good starting point, but it shouldn't be the entire thing.

By the way, I've revised the quick test for any ideas that you or your committee might be working on. The last time I dealt with this was three years ago, so here is the updated version with new good and bad ideas. Rather than using the terms "Go or No? as before," I'm calling this one "Heavenly or Hard Pass?"

1. The Post Service Roast and Toast Potluck

The idea: Surprise the pastor following a long Sunday service by throwing a three-hour potluck at which the members take turns giving 'funny' speeches, offering a bit of affectionate embarrassment and possibly some unsolicited feedback, all while he attempts to eat a casserole that has cooled down since the second verse of the invitation.

VERDICT: HARD PASS

Reason: By 12:15 p.m. on Sunday, the pastor's social battery has dropped to 3%. The crowded fellowship hall, the open microphone, and the discussions about the nursery HVAC system don't provide any rest; instead, they feel more like a staff meeting with banana pudding.

The heavenly turnaround: Present the pastor and his wife with a gift card to a restaurant, preferably one where they can have a peaceful meal together. Include a note stating, 'There's no church business tonight, and please take Monday off.' Letting your pastor rest and spend time away from his church duties is a genuine gift.

2. The Pastoral Self-Help Book

The idea: Give him a book like How to Keep Sermons Under Twenty Minutes, Ten Secrets of Dynamic Public Speaking, or Winning Friends While Shortening the Announcements.

VERDICT: AGGRESSIVE HARD PASS

Why: That is not appreciation. That feels more like an annual evaluation in disguise. If you leave it on his desk, don’t act surprised when the next sermon series is a detailed journey through Leviticus, complete with maps and diagrams.

The heavenly turnaround: Support your pastor as a person, not merely as a preacher. Find out what he enjoys outside of sermons—such as golf, woodworking, walking, music, coffee, reading, fishing, or playing games—and then select an activity that relates to that interest. A gift that shows, 'We know you,' is usually more significant than one that states, 'We know your job title.'

3. The Framed Family Portrait of Your Family

The idea: Present a 16-by-20 portrait of your own family in matching denim so the pastor can display it on his desk and 'remember to pray for us.' Would anyone really give this as a gift? Maybe.

VERDICT: HARD PASS

Why: Unless he is also your grandfather, this is more of a visual assignment than a gift. He already remembers your family. He sees you every Sunday you attend, and if you sit near the thermostat, perhaps even more often.

The heavenly turnaround: Write a specific note. Mention the sermon, visit, prayer, counsel, or moment when God used your pastor’s ministry in your life. General applause fades, but specific gratitude lasts. Many pastors keep those notes to reread on difficult Mondays.

4. Church Themed Novelty Merchandise

The idea: Buy another cross-patterned tie, a Noah’s Ark ball cap, a 'World’s Best Pastor' mug, or a decorative plaque with sheep and some creative lettering.

VERDICT: HARD PASS UNLESS HE ACTUALLY COLLECTS IT

Why: Many pastors already have a dozen mugs in their cabinet and a lot of novelty ties in their closet, which they feel guilty about getting rid of; the donor usually sits in the front row, and so the tie turns up every year just as the caterpillars do in the spring.

The heavenly turnaround: You can give cash, or a thoughtfully selected gift card, or an item from a quiet list of the family's favorite places and interests. Cash is always welcome, coordinates with any kind of decoration, and requires no explanation. When the church funds the gift, the treasurer or payroll provider should handle any questions about taxes and reporting. It is better to be careful and avoid coming across an unexpected tax problem.

5. The All-Inclusive Weekend Getaway

The idea: Pool resources to send the pastor and his wife away for a weekend, with travel, lodging, meals, and trusted childcare already handled.

VERDICT: THE HEAVENLY GOLD STANDARD

Why: Ministry places constant demands on a household; a getaway with no logistical prep gives the couple a chance to rest, laugh, reconnect,, and remember their relationship outside their church duties.

To make it truly heavenly: Cover the details. Arrange childcare. Provide spending money. Protect their schedule. Identify one emergency contact who is not the pastor, and make certain that the babysitter, who is an actual adult, won't phone during dinner to find out where the church’s main water shutoff valve is.

6. One Sunday One Card Mission Accomplished

The idea: Give the pastor a card during the service, applaud for eleven seconds, and declare appreciation finished until next October.

VERDICT: HARD PASS WITH GOOD INTENTIONS

Why: A Sunday recognition can be meaningful, but encouragement becomes shallow when it’s used as a yearly substitute for healthy expectations, fair compensation, protected rest, shared ministry, and ordinary kindness. A cookie cake isn't up to the task of bearing such responsibility. Even if it has a double layer with frosting in the middle, it is still just a dessert and not a staff-care policy.

The heavenly turnaround: Use October as a doorway, not the whole house. Spread appreciation throughout the month and let it lead to one lasting change—such as a protected day off, a fund for pulpit supplies, a review of compensation, counseling, support for continuing education, clearer communication boundaries, or volunteers who take over recurring tasks from the pastor's desk.

A Better Kind of Appreciation

Don’t get me wrong. Pastor Appreciation Month isn't about pretending that pastors are perfect since they aren't, and most of them already have a deacon who could confirm it. It’s about recognizing that the work is weighty, the calling is costly, and God uses ordinary, imperfect servants to look after His people.

Make it personal, make it thoughtful, and involve the associate ministers, the ministry staff, their spouses and children in a way that shows respect rather than revealing too much. Offer something that conveys 'I've listened', 'I've noticed', or 'I want to help you carry on', and definitely don't keep the book of sermon critiques.

A healthy church goes beyond just saying, 'We appreciate you'; it creates a culture in which ministry leaders and their families can truly say, 'We are loved here, prayed for here, helped here, and strengthened here for the work God has given us.' Such appreciation is good for the pastor, good for his family, and, as the Bible states, is of real advantage to the church.

Don’t forget to download your copy of More than a Mug right now and right here. 

More Than A Mug