Pastor Appreciation Month Without Making It Weird

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.” Hebrews 13:17, ESV

October rolls around and, like clockwork, it’s Pastor and Minister Appreciation Month. This is the time when churches hit the pause button to say thank you to those who preach the Word, visit the sick, counsel the hurting, lead meetings, answer late-night calls, and, yes, patiently endure at least seventeen different opinions about the worship center thermostat. (Bless them.)

Good intentions are always there, but sometimes the way we show our appreciation can go a bit off course. Between the sheet cake, the surprise microphone, and the sixth 'World’s Best Pastor' mug, encouragement can start to feel more like a marathon than a blessing.

Let's try to do better; your pastor doesn't have to be placed on a pedestal. Instead, regard him as a person, support him in his role as a leader, and love him as a brother in Christ. When you show him thoughtful appreciation, you not only help your pastor and his family but also encourage those who give and build up the whole church.

Why Pastor Appreciation Is Good for Everybody

“We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.” 1 Thessalonians 5:12–13, ESV

It Is Good for the Church Member

Gratitude changes us. When you mention a sermon that helped you, thank your pastor for being with you at a difficult time, or pray specifically for his family, then you teach yourself to notice God's grace rather than maintaining a mental list of complaints. We hardly need reminders to keep such a list—It's kinda our unwanted superpower.

Appreciation also builds trust. When a pastor knows church members see more than just his mistakes, he can have honest, heart-to-heart conversations, offer patient counsel, and lead through difficult changes. This does not mean members stop asking questions or offering biblical correction. It means those conversations happen within a relationship shaped by love, not suspicion.

It Is Good for the Whole Church

Every congregation develops a culture around its leaders. Gratitude spreads, but so does grumbling, and grumbling often gets more attention. If church members recognize faithful service, avoid gossip, keep their days off, and share ministry responsibilities, they help create a healthier environment for pastors, deacons, teachers, volunteers, and the next generation of leaders.

A church of that type is more stable, since energy that might otherwise be spent in unnecessary conflict can instead go into discipleship, care, missions, and outreach. If a pastor has time to study, pray, rest, and look after his family, he will probably be able to lead with clarity and patience. As Hebrews 13:17 puts it plainly: helping leaders serve with joy is 'of advantage to you.' God knew about church life long before we ever formed a committee. Right?

It Is Good for the Pastor and His Family

A pastor's work doesn't stay confined to the office. An emergency call can throw off a family's evening plans. Whenever there's a conflict, someone has to go home because of it. Each Sunday sermon is the product of hours of thinking, praying, and preparation, though most people never see it. A pastor's spouse and children often bear the ministry's expenses, even though they don't have a title, a salary, or a vote at business meetings.

Showing wise appreciation involves telling the entire family, "We notice you; we do not expect you to act as unpaid workers, and we hope that ministry can be something that is sustainable for your home as well." Offers such as rest, childcare, a family trip, some privacy, practical assistance, or a gift based on a real interest can ease a real burden. Only when the family is looked after can the pastor serve without feeling that his loyalty to the church means sacrificing his home.

This is not a formula for personal gain—honor your pastor and suddenly find the perfect parking space at Cracker Barrel. In fact, the benefits go far beyond that. When people are generous, generosity is likely to increase. Encouragement restores courage. When responsibility is shared, time and energy become available for ministry. Blessings increase because a healthier pastor, a supported family, and a grateful congregation can all give more to one another.

Before You Buy Another Mug

Good intentions need a plan. The free guide More Than a Mug: Pastor and Minister Appreciation Month Ideas That Truly Bless was created for churches, Sunday School classes, small groups, personnel committees, deacons, and individual members. It helps churches move beyond a one-off effort in October and build a lasting culture of honor, encouragement, rest, and thoughtful care for pastors, ministers, staff, and their families. The guide includes a four-week plan, family-sensitive ideas, meaningful suggestions for gifts, ways to give back time, leadership support, financial warnings, and ready-to-use planning prompts.

Don't put off until October. Get your free copy of More Than a Mug right now by going to fairburnba.org/pastor-appreciation. We also have a limited number of print copies and will be glad to mail you one if you request it. We did mail two copies to each of our churches in the FBA, one to the Personnel Committee and one to the Deacons. October is a good starting point, but it shouldn't be the entire thing.

By the way, I've revised the quick test for any ideas that you or your committee might be working on. The last time I dealt with this was three years ago, so here is the updated version with new good and bad ideas. Rather than using the terms "Go or No? as before," I'm calling this one "Heavenly or Hard Pass?"

1. The Post Service Roast and Toast Potluck

The idea: Surprise the pastor following a long Sunday service by throwing a three-hour potluck at which the members take turns giving 'funny' speeches, offering a bit of affectionate embarrassment and possibly some unsolicited feedback, all while he attempts to eat a casserole that has cooled down since the second verse of the invitation.

VERDICT: HARD PASS

Reason: By 12:15 p.m. on Sunday, the pastor's social battery has dropped to 3%. The crowded fellowship hall, the open microphone, and the discussions about the nursery HVAC system don't provide any rest; instead, they feel more like a staff meeting with banana pudding.

The heavenly turnaround: Present the pastor and his wife with a gift card to a restaurant, preferably one where they can have a peaceful meal together. Include a note stating, 'There's no church business tonight, and please take Monday off.' Letting your pastor rest and spend time away from his church duties is a genuine gift.

2. The Pastoral Self-Help Book

The idea: Give him a book like How to Keep Sermons Under Twenty Minutes, Ten Secrets of Dynamic Public Speaking, or Winning Friends While Shortening the Announcements.

VERDICT: AGGRESSIVE HARD PASS

Why: That is not appreciation. That feels more like an annual evaluation in disguise. If you leave it on his desk, don’t act surprised when the next sermon series is a detailed journey through Leviticus, complete with maps and diagrams.

The heavenly turnaround: Support your pastor as a person, not merely as a preacher. Find out what he enjoys outside of sermons—such as golf, woodworking, walking, music, coffee, reading, fishing, or playing games—and then select an activity that relates to that interest. A gift that shows, 'We know you,' is usually more significant than one that states, 'We know your job title.'

3. The Framed Family Portrait of Your Family

The idea: Present a 16-by-20 portrait of your own family in matching denim so the pastor can display it on his desk and 'remember to pray for us.' Would anyone really give this as a gift? Maybe.

VERDICT: HARD PASS

Why: Unless he is also your grandfather, this is more of a visual assignment than a gift. He already remembers your family. He sees you every Sunday you attend, and if you sit near the thermostat, perhaps even more often.

The heavenly turnaround: Write a specific note. Mention the sermon, visit, prayer, counsel, or moment when God used your pastor’s ministry in your life. General applause fades, but specific gratitude lasts. Many pastors keep those notes to reread on difficult Mondays.

4. Church Themed Novelty Merchandise

The idea: Buy another cross-patterned tie, a Noah’s Ark ball cap, a 'World’s Best Pastor' mug, or a decorative plaque with sheep and some creative lettering.

VERDICT: HARD PASS UNLESS HE ACTUALLY COLLECTS IT

Why: Many pastors already have a dozen mugs in their cabinet and a lot of novelty ties in their closet, which they feel guilty about getting rid of; the donor usually sits in the front row, and so the tie turns up every year just as the caterpillars do in the spring.

The heavenly turnaround: You can give cash, or a thoughtfully selected gift card, or an item from a quiet list of the family's favorite places and interests. Cash is always welcome, coordinates with any kind of decoration, and requires no explanation. When the church funds the gift, the treasurer or payroll provider should handle any questions about taxes and reporting. It is better to be careful and avoid coming across an unexpected tax problem.

5. The All-Inclusive Weekend Getaway

The idea: Pool resources to send the pastor and his wife away for a weekend, with travel, lodging, meals, and trusted childcare already handled.

VERDICT: THE HEAVENLY GOLD STANDARD

Why: Ministry places constant demands on a household; a getaway with no logistical prep gives the couple a chance to rest, laugh, reconnect,, and remember their relationship outside their church duties.

To make it truly heavenly: Cover the details. Arrange childcare. Provide spending money. Protect their schedule. Identify one emergency contact who is not the pastor, and make certain that the babysitter, who is an actual adult, won't phone during dinner to find out where the church’s main water shutoff valve is.

6. One Sunday One Card Mission Accomplished

The idea: Give the pastor a card during the service, applaud for eleven seconds, and declare appreciation finished until next October.

VERDICT: HARD PASS WITH GOOD INTENTIONS

Why: A Sunday recognition can be meaningful, but encouragement becomes shallow when it’s used as a yearly substitute for healthy expectations, fair compensation, protected rest, shared ministry, and ordinary kindness. A cookie cake isn't up to the task of bearing such responsibility. Even if it has a double layer with frosting in the middle, it is still just a dessert and not a staff-care policy.

The heavenly turnaround: Use October as a doorway, not the whole house. Spread appreciation throughout the month and let it lead to one lasting change—such as a protected day off, a fund for pulpit supplies, a review of compensation, counseling, support for continuing education, clearer communication boundaries, or volunteers who take over recurring tasks from the pastor's desk.

A Better Kind of Appreciation

Don’t get me wrong. Pastor Appreciation Month isn't about pretending that pastors are perfect since they aren't, and most of them already have a deacon who could confirm it. It’s about recognizing that the work is weighty, the calling is costly, and God uses ordinary, imperfect servants to look after His people.

Make it personal, make it thoughtful, and involve the associate ministers, the ministry staff, their spouses and children in a way that shows respect rather than revealing too much. Offer something that conveys 'I've listened', 'I've noticed', or 'I want to help you carry on', and definitely don't keep the book of sermon critiques.

A healthy church goes beyond just saying, 'We appreciate you'; it creates a culture in which ministry leaders and their families can truly say, 'We are loved here, prayed for here, helped here, and strengthened here for the work God has given us.' Such appreciation is good for the pastor, good for his family, and, as the Bible states, is of real advantage to the church.

Don’t forget to download your copy of More than a Mug right now and right here. 

More Than A Mug

THE MISSING GENERATION

Alex Isn't Waiting for a Better Show

Picture a twenty-seven-year-old named Alex. I’ve made up his name, but his situation could be true. Alex grew up around church. There were youth trips, worship songs, Bible verses on T-shirts, and enough Christian vocabulary to know the difference between VBS and Bible Drill. Then came college, work, a move, a pandemic, a few disappointments, and a steady drift.

Alex isn’t an atheist; on a bad night, he still prays: "God, if you're there, help me." A clip from the series "The Chosen" might be viewed on his phone. He leaves his Bible app open for three days, then forgets it for three weeks. Although Alex distrusts institutions, is worn out by the political shouting, and certainly disillusioned by Christians not living the faith they claim to follow.  Yet Alex is also lonely and longs for friends who will stay, for a life with meaning, and, for some reason, to believe that the future will be more than just work, bills, scrolling, and trying to hold everything together.

One day, a coworker says, “A group of us from church are getting dinner Thursday. You ought to come.” No stage. No fog machine. No sales pitch. At the table, people ask Alex’s name and remember it. Someone admits a struggle without pretending to have it all together. Another person talks naturally about Jesus. Nobody panics when Alex asks a hard question. Nobody waters down the answer either.

This situation may be much closer to the actual front door of the next-generation ministry than you may think. It’s not always a major event or the most recent program that opens the door—sometimes it is a simple dinner invitation and someone remembering your name.

Missing Doesn’t Mean Closed

The idea of a "missing generation" might give the impression that members of Gen Z and the Millennials have packed their bags, abandoned their faith, and thus moved permanently out of the church's reach. In fact, the research is more complex and offers a more hopeful outlook.

The Pew Research Center's 2023–24 Religious Landscape Study shows a long-term generational trend toward a decline in traditional religious identity and practice. Basically, what this means is that younger adults are less likely than older adults to describe themselves as Christian, to attend worship services, or to pray every day. However, the study also found that the gap in responses between age groups narrows when broader spiritual questions are asked. Seven out of ten youngest adults say there is something spiritual beyond the natural world, and 82 percent believe people have a soul or spirit that exists beyond the body. They aren’t materialists. For adults aged 18 to 24, only 28 percent of those brought up in highly religious households still attend weekly worship and say religion is very important in their lives. This indicates a serious retention problem. But it is not the same as indicating spiritual indifference.¹

Barna’s more recent findings make the opening figure even more remarkable. In 2025, 66 percent of adult Americans reported having made a personal commitment to Jesus that remained important to them—a 12-percentage-point increase from the low point reached in 2021. It was younger adults who were the main force behind this rise. Moreover, Barna discovered a point that ought to concern people like pastors and me: some people who do not identify as Christian still say they have made a personal commitment to Jesus. In short, Jesus may be attracting interest before people are ready to place their trust in the organization which bears His name.²

On the other hand, more younger Christians are turning up in church nowadays. In September 2025, Barna stated that the average Gen Z person who attends church goes about 1.9 weekends each month, and the average Millennial churchgoer about 1.8. Both figures are higher than those of older generations and nearly double what they were during the pandemic. This is positive news, but it also serves as a warning: even among younger people who consider themselves regular churchgoers, attendance is less than half of the weekends in a typical month.³

What They’re Carrying into the Room

Before rewriting the playbook to reach this “missing generation”, it’s necessary to get a good understanding of the people in front of us. I believe most of us understand that generations are not uniform. A twenty-two-year-old single college student in South Fulton, a thirty-six-year-old mother in Fayette County, and a forty-two-year-old father who commutes from Coweta County might be in the same generation, but have no other similarities. Yet the research points to a number of pressures that occur frequently enough across all of these differences to be significant. I’ll give you what I see as the top four.

1. They Are Carrying Uncertainty and Loneliness

Barna discovered that 39 percent of members of Gen Z frequently feel uncertain about the future, 29 percent frequently feel lonely, 26 percent frequently feel isolated, and 29 percent frequently report anxiety when it comes to important decisions. These figures don’t apply to every young adult, but they do indicate a certain cultural trend.⁴

The Harvard Making Caring Common (MCC) project also found a deeper sense of dissatisfaction among young people aged 18 to 25. Fifty-eight percent stated that they had felt a lack of meaning or purpose during the previous month, 44 percent said that they did not feel they mattered to anyone else, and 34 percent experienced loneliness. The researchers suggested that meaning should be fostered, durable relationships developed, and opportunities to care for others should be provided.⁵

That ought to make every church leader stop and think. We’re not just up against Sunday brunch, travel ball, Netflix, or the snooze button. We are called to minister to people who might have a thousand online friends and still feel like nobody really knows them. Isn't this a major part of what a small group ministry should be about? 

2. They Want Belonging, but They May Not Know How to Build It

Barna's 2025 study of church relationships showed that churchgoers in the Gen Z group were far less likely than Boomers to say they had conversations with others at church—32 percent compared with 73 percent. On the other hand, regarding small groups, Barna's research found that those groups that fostered a sense of belonging and had deep relationships—described as feeling like family—were strongly linked to people believing that their church creates a meaningful community and helps them understand their purpose in life.⁶

That mix is important. Young adults may crave community but still need a little help figuring out how to build it. Just announcing, “We have a young adult class at 9:45,” won’t cut it. A room is not a relationship, and a spot on the calendar isn’t the same as belonging. I could say more, but this blog is already long enough, and I think you get it. 

3. They May Be Active before They Are Deep

Lifeway Research’s 2026 State of Discipleship analysis of Protestant churchgoers found several encouraging patterns among Gen Z. Compared with older generations, Gen Z tended to score relatively high in terms of sharing their faith and building up relationships; they were more likely to report having taken part in one-to-one mentoring, going on mission trips, attending Bible study, and engaging in community service. However, the same report also highlighted serious shortcomings in their spiritual formation. Just 62 percent said that the Bible has authority over all areas of their lives; 53 percent said that they hesitate to tell their Christian friends about their own doubts and spiritual struggles; and 42 percent agreed with the false statement that Jesus was a sinner just like us.⁷

That paints a picture of spiritual drive running ahead of theological depth. A church may send a young person on a mission trip and give them a volunteer badge, yet the major issues concerning Jesus, the Bible, sin, grace, and obedience can still remain unaddressed in the back row. While activity is not the problem, it by no means replaces true spiritual formation. I think this point is worth a pause and some careful thought that leads to action.

4. Many Who Leave Are Not Gone Forever

The 2025 Lifeway The Way Forward report serves as a reminder that two out of three young adults who regularly attended a Protestant church as teenagers discontinued attending for at least a year between ages 18 and 22. However, the report also states that seven out of ten of those who had left the church eventually returned to some degree of attendance. Young adults who had remained connected were more likely to report feeling connected to student ministry and that small-group Bible study had been relevant to their lives. Among the factors that assisted in people's return were invitations and changes in their personal circumstances.⁸

The church needs to hear both sides of that story. Yes, many leave. Yes, many come back. We should bemoan the drift, but let’s not act like it is a prophecy of permanent loss. I was in that group as a University student. What moved me back into church in the 1980s was exactly the things mentioned in 2025. 

What We May Have Misread about “Attractional” Ministry

A clean building, good music, a website that functions properly, clear signage, a safe children’s ministry, strong preaching, hot coffee, and a service that concludes on time are all good. Sloppiness shouldn’t be considered a spiritual gift. For some, excellence is merely a way of showing love.

The trouble arises when we mix up attraction with transformation. A church may draw a large crowd by offering an experience that people enjoy. Yet, It’s only through the gospel—made active by the Holy Spirit through the Word and shown in the way the people of Christ live—that disciples can be made.

For years, some churches acted like reaching the next generation meant they had to chase the next new thing: newer music, newer tech, newer logos, newer stage lights, newer lingo. But let’s be honest—today, a twenty-five-year-old with a smartphone can find better production before the first song is over. We’re not going to out-entertain an entertainment industry that has more money than we can imagine, and Jesus never told us to try.

The church’s real strength is not putting on a show. It is being a people who know God, love each other, tell the truth, practice repentance, support each other in our difficulties, open our doors to others, serve our neighbors, and are able to explain why the death and resurrection of Jesus makes a difference.

Rewriting the Playbook: Seven Shifts Worth Making

Once we understand these four pressures Gen Zers and Millennials are carrying—and recognize that the way in probably isn’t a cooler stage, better coffee, or one more clever ministry social media post—we can start talking about the playbook. The real opportunity is found in the regular, ongoing, decidedly unglamorous work of really getting to know imperfect people, caring for them, and loving them over the long haul. Imagine that.

I’m not suggesting we throw everything out and start over. Most churches have had enough “new and improved” programs to last a lifetime. What I am suggesting is that we make seven intentional shifts—shifts that can gradually reshape a congregation's culture and help us recover something that looks more like the kind of church described in Acts 2:42–47.

Shift 1: From Impressing People to Knowing People

Instead of first asking, “What event will young adults be attending?” ask, “Who knows their names?” “Who has invited them to a table?” “Who would notice if they disappeared?” Hospitality is not merely greeters at the door. It is the movement from anonymous attendance to a genuine relationship.

Hey, a church with under thirty people can do this. In fact, a smaller church may have the upper hand if it stops apologizing for not being a megachurch and instead uses its size to provide what large churches must put extra effort into offering—visibility, access, family, and genuine personal care. So get with it, my smaller-in-attendance church brethren!

Shift 2: From Avoiding Hard Questions to Creating Honest Conversations

Young people have no need for a church that is embarrassed by its biblical convictions, nor do they need a church that regards every question as rebellion. There is a distinction to be made between welcoming a question and giving up on the answer.

Here’s a radical idea. Set up situations in which people can explore issues of suffering, sexuality, hypocrisy, science, politics, the reliability of Scripture, other religions, unanswered prayer, and hurt within the church. Teach leaders to respond by saying, “That is a reasonable question; let’s examine what the Scripture says,” rather than becoming defensive. Doubt should not be discipled by TikTok just because the church had been too afraid to discuss these topics.

Shift 3: From Age-Compartmentalized Ministry to Intergenerational Friendship

Sure, young people in their twenties need friends of their age, but they also need spiritual mothers and fathers, older couples, experienced single people, craftsmen, teachers, business leaders, retirees, and ordinary saints. These are the ones who have followed Jesus long enough to have some scars and some stories.

Here’s another radical idea. Make sure that the "young adult ministry" doesn't become a place where all those over forty vanish. Incorporate mentoring and table fellowship into the very structure of your church. Have five reliable older adults learn the names of five younger adults and invite them to share meals; encourage them to discuss topics such as work, marriage, singleness, money, failure, prayer, temptation, and how God appeared when things didn't turn out as expected.

Shift 4: From Attendance as the Goal to a Visible Discipleship Path

This shift is directly linked to the earlier blog, Beyond the Splash. There is no need to diminish Christ's call for younger adults; what is needed is for the way forward to be made clearer and for support to be strengthened. In many churches a person can be spiritually curious, attend the worship service twice a month, and yet still have no idea what the next step is, or that there is even a next step. I sincerely hope that is not true for your church. 

Provide them with a straightforward route: hear and understand the gospel, profess Christ, be baptized, join the church, study the Scripture and learn to pray, build genuine relationships, serve, share Christ, grow in obedience, and start helping other people. The aim should be Christlikeness, not the completion of the program. Sure, this messes with your schedule. This changes your priorities. But wouldn’t you rather make a shift to be more in line with New Testament metrics than the traditional Southern Baptist metrics of baptisms, budget, buildings, and butts? 

Shift 5: From Consumer Seats to Meaningful Responsibility

As noted in the research, younger adults are looking for meaning. Don’t wait five years before you invite them to contribute. Give appropriate, supervised, real responsibility. Let them serve neighbors, welcome guests, help with children, work on a local ministry project, participate in mercy ministry, learn evangelism, or help solve a genuine problem in the community.

Giving responsibility sends a message: “You are not just a customer here. You are part of the body, and God can use you to bless someone else.” That is a far cry from just trying to keep a certain age group entertained. It also makes the world a better place in the name of Jesus.

Shift 6: From “Come to Our Thing” to Relational Presence in Their World

The church still gathers. We shouldn’t apologize for that, and the next article in this series will make the case for the irreplaceable power of the physically gathered Christian community. But evangelism can’t depend on a young adult deciding, without invitation, to walk into a building full of strangers on Sunday morning.

One more radical idea. Yeh, I’m just full of them. Teach church members how to build real friendships with coworkers, neighbors, parents and grandparents at the ball field, college students, young professionals, and young families. Encourage personal testimony and ordinary gospel conversation. A social post may introduce your church. A livestream may reduce anxiety about a first visit. But trust usually grows through people. It’s a face. A name. A handshake or a hug. It's the connection. 

Shift 7: From Defending Preferences to Guarding Convictions

Every church has traditions. Some are beautiful. Some carry memory and identity. Some are simply the way things have always been done. I’m not trying to pick a fight, but the difficulty arises when we bestow on a preference the same authority as that which is held in a doctrine—or when we treat a biblical conviction as though it were no more than a preference. Do you understand? Okay, read on. 

The kind of music can change, the times for services can change, what people wear can change, the names of the ministries can change, the ways of communicating can change, a classroom can turn into a home group, a committee can become a ministry team, and a church can learn to express an old truth in new and easier-to-understand language.

The gospel remains the same; Jesus Christ is the eternal Son of God who became flesh, lived without sin, died for our sins, was buried, and was raised bodily from the dead. We are saved by grace through faith in Christ. The Bible is the ultimate authority. Jesus urges people to repent, to believe, to follow Him, to live a holy life, to love His church, and to make disciples of all nations (1 Cor. 15:3–4; Eph. 2:8–10; 2 Tim. 3:16–17; Matt. 28:18–20). These are not merely the preferences of different generations. They are Christian convictions.

Just make sure that when we consider and debate changes, we understand the difference between biblical convictions, traditional practices, and personal preferences. 

One Baptist Association, Many Front Doors

This matters in our own Baptist association, since there is no single 'Gen Z strategy' that applies to all congregations. Our churches extend from East Point and College Park through Riverdale, South Fulton, Fairburn, Palmetto, and Chattahoochee Hills, and go southward into Tyrone, Fayetteville, Peachtree City, Senoia, and Sharpsburg. This coverage includes established communities, growing suburbs and exurbs, commuter areas, a variety of ethnic cultures, and churches that differ greatly in size and history.⁹

The church in College Park might need a front door different from that of the church in Senoia. The congregation in Chattahoochee Hills could develop relationships differently from those of the one in Peachtree City. A church having twenty-five active members should not attempt to copy a church with five hundred members—and it shouldn't.

But each church can ask the same basic questions: Which younger adults has God already placed among us? Where do they work, meet, serve, study, parent, and struggle? Who in our church is capable of building trusted relationships with them? What unnecessary barriers have we created? What biblical convictions must we state more clearly? What would it be like for a young adult to be known, guided, and given significant responsibilities in this church?

That is what contextualization should be like: rather than adapting the gospel to suit the culture, it involves eliminating unnecessary barriers so that the culture can clearly come upon the gospel.

A Sign of Hope

According to a Barna survey conducted in 2026, 45 percent of Protestant senior pastors reported that engagement among Gen Z had increased in their church over the previous year, and 42 percent reported the same for Millennials. It doesn't mean that every church is experiencing a surge of young adults, but it does indicate that many pastors are already noticing younger people becoming more involved.¹⁰

The real question is, will we know what to do when they show up? Bingo.

Change the Playbook, Not the Gospel

The church has done this before. We have changed the architecture, the hymnals, the instruments, the Sunday school arrangements, the means of communication, the methods of transportation, the schedules, the ministry titles, and a thousand other practices as the surrounding cultures have changed. And we’ve had people against every change. We did it anyway. The healthiest of these changes took place not because the church had become less Christian, but because it was trying to be faithful in a new setting.

We shouldn't ask ourselves, 'How can we make Christianity more appealing to Gen Z and Millennials?' for the cross will always meet human pride, and repentance will always involve a cost; Jesus will never become a mere lifestyle accessory. The right question is, 'How can we ensure that people are tripping over the genuine claims of Christ rather than over our unnecessary traditions, institutional programs, cold relationships, or our failure to listen?'

Younger adults do not need us to out-entertain Netflix, out-brand Apple, or out-scroll TikTok. What they need is a church that knows Jesus, speaks the truth, keeps its promises, shares its meals, bears the burdens of its members, welcomes sincere questions, practices repentance, looks after its neighbors, and invites people into a way of life worth giving oneself to.

Even though the generation might be absent from some of our pews, that doesn't prove they are out of Christ's reach. It might only mean that it's time to rewrite the playbook and then go look for them.

Endnotes

Scripture quotations and references are from the English Standard Version unless otherwise noted.

1. Gregory A. Smith, Alan Cooperman, Becka A. Alper, Besheer Mohamed, Chip Rotolo, Patricia Tevington, Justin Nortey, Asta Kallo, Jeff Diamant, and Dalia Fahmy, “Decline of Christianity in the U.S. Has Slowed, May Have Leveled Off,” Pew Research Center, February 26, 2025, https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2025/02/26/decline-of-christianity-in-the-us-has-slowed-may-have-leveled-off/.

2. Barna Group, “New Research: Belief in Jesus Rises, Fueled by Younger Adults,” April 7, 2025, https://www.barna.com/research/belief-in-jesus-rises/.

3. Barna Group, “New Barna Data: Young Adults Lead a Resurgence in Church Attendance,” September 2, 2025, https://www.barna.com/research/young-adults-lead-resurgence-in-church-attendance/.

4. Barna Group, “Gen Z’s Emotional Challenges: A Unique Opportunity for the Church,” May 13, 2025, https://www.barna.com/trends/gen-z-emotions/.

5. Richard Weissbourd, Milena Batanova, Joseph McIntyre, and Eric Torres, with Shanae Irving, Sawsan Eskander, and Kiran Bhai, On Edge: Understanding and Preventing Young Adults’ Mental Health Challenges (Cambridge, MA: Making Caring Common, Harvard Graduate School of Education, October 2023), https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/on-edge.

6. Barna Group, “Fostering Relationships: A Key to Meaningful Church Engagement,” March 13, 2025, https://www.barna.com/trends/fostering-relationships-at-church/.

7. Lifeway Research, State of Discipleship Generation Z Analysis (June 2026), 1–8, https://research.lifeway.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Generation-Z-Summary-of-Results-for-Release.pdf.

8. Lifeway Research, The Way Forward: Insights Report—Charting 5 Priorities for the Church (2025), 22–23, https://research.lifeway.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/The-Way-Forward-Insights-Report.pdf.

9. Fairburn Baptist Missionary Association Inc., Association Church List, report supplied by the association, 2026, 1–2.

10. Barna Group, “Are Young Adults Engaging More at Church? What Pastors Are Seeing,” March 9, 2026, https://www.barna.com/trends/young-adults-church-engagement-pastors/.

BEYOND THE SPLASH

What if every baptism were treated not as the end of an event, but as the beginning of a purposeful shared journey toward Christlikeness?

We Planned the Wedding, But Who Is Helping with the Marriage?

I’ve heard that the median cost for a wedding these days in the United States is somewhere between $20,000 and $25,000. The average is even higher, landing between $33,000 and $36,000.1 Just imagine what you could do with an extra $30,000. If your rent is $1,700 a month, you could live for a year and a half without worrying about the landlord. If you’re making a $500 car payment, you could drive for almost four years before the bank calls. That’s a lot of cake and chicken dinners.

Now, have you ever wondered just how many hours a couple spends getting ready for the big day? If they’re doing most of it themselves, the experts say it’s somewhere between 250 and 400 hours.2 Let’s split the difference and call it 325 hours. That’s two months of full-time work, eight hours a day, every day. For that kind of time, you could walk from New York City to Miami (if your feet held out), or get halfway to learning a new language—maybe enough Spanish to order at the local taco truck with confidence.  

Having served as a pastor for more than a couple of decades, I’ve stood at the front for more weddings than I can count. I’ve watched the work, the planning, the expense, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with “the big day.”

Wouldn’t it be something if couples put even half as much effort into preparing for the marriage as they do for the wedding? The wedding is over in a day or maybe a weekend if you stretch it. The marriage, Lord willing, is meant to last a lifetime.

And sure enough, at every reception, there’s always someone at a table in the back corner who leans over and says, “Well, I hope it works out.” Don’t we all.

If I’m honest, we Baptists sometimes treat baptism the same way. Baptism is a moment, but “walking in newness of life” is a lifelong journey. Could it be that we treat baptism like couples treat the wedding—crossing our fingers, saying a prayer, and hoping God helps them figure out the rest?

Now, baptism isn’t a wedding, but the comparison does shine a light on a familiar church problem. We get the testimony ready, fill the baptistery, invite the family, snap the picture, celebrate the obedience, and report the number. Then Monday rolls around. Old habits are still strong. The Bible can feel overwhelming. Prayer might feel awkward. Family members may not get it. The new believer is sincere, but may have no clue how to follow Jesus through a regular week.

The Sunday splash is real. But who’s walking with them on Monday? That’s the real question, and it comes from a place of honesty and even some nervous joy. Stick with me.

The Good News and the Obligation It Creates

Southern Baptists do have reason to rejoice. The 2025 Annual Church Profile reported 263,075 baptisms, the fifth consecutive annual increase and the highest total since 2017.3 Adults aged 30 and older accounted for 33 percent, young adults for another 20 percent, and youth for 25 percent.4 These are not merely numbers. They are people publicly identifying with the crucified and risen Christ.

But doesn’t every baptism create a discipleship obligation? In the Great Commission, baptism and teaching sit inside the one command to make disciples (Matt. 28:19–20). The Baptist Faith and Message describes baptism as identification with Christ and with “the resurrection to walk in newness of life.”5 The water marks a beginning. The walk requires a church.

Dallas Willard often described baptism in this passage as the believer's union with the reality of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It is not about making sure the person is wet from head to toe. It's the represented reality of the believers’ immersion into the triune God. Willard paraphrases Matthew 28:18-20 this way:

"I have been given say over all things in heaven and in the earth. As you go, therefore, make disciples of all kinds of people, submerge them in Trinitarian Presence, and show them how to do everything I have commanded. And now look: I am with you every minute until the job's done.”6

When we celebrate new life but leave the new believer to invent the walk, we have completed the first half of a sentence and left the second unsaid. We get the picture, but we miss the reality.

How Tomorrow’s Ghost Roster Is Made

The Ghost Roster is not made up only of inherited names and people who moved years ago. Sometimes tomorrow’s Ghost Roster is created one unaccompanied baptism at a time. A person is baptized, applauded, added to the roll, and quietly left to find a class, build relationships, understand the church, establish spiritual habits, and survive doubt without anyone noticing whether the person is connected.

I’m not saying this is everyone’s experience. However, it has been mine. 

But what do the statistics say? I’m glad you asked. Lifeway’s State of Discipleship study found that only 52 percent of Protestant pastors say their church has an intentional plan for discipling individuals. 71 percent believe discipleship can be measured, but only 30 percent say their church has specific methods for measuring it.7 Only 29 percent regularly evaluate discipleship progress, while 38 percent say no one is responsible for the church’s discipleship programs. In churches averaging fewer than fifty, that “no one” reaches 50 percent.8

Everybody is for discipleship. Most of us assume it’s happening. But too often, if you ask who’s responsible for the next step, you get a lot of blank stares.

Why Is a Scorecard So Hard?

The Lifeway study establishes the gap, but it did not directly ask pastors why they lack a specific measurement method. The surrounding findings nevertheless point toward several likely reasons.

• We do not have the same definition of discipleship. Pastors name Bible study, prayer, mentoring, service, doctrine, groups, obedience, mission, and many other elements. Agreement that discipleship matters is stronger than agreement about what a disciple looks like.

• Activity often is a substitute for a pathway. A church can have sermons, classes, groups, studies, and events galore, but if there’s no clear destination, no sequence, no one in charge, and no handoff, it’s just a busy calendar. You can have a full schedule and still be going nowhere.

• Relationships rarely happen organically. Pastors overwhelmingly say discipleship happens relationally, but mentoring takes trusted people, training, time, boundaries, and follow-through. You know the old saying, “Fail to plan and you plan to fail.” Saying discipleship just happens organically is only half true—and the lazy half at that. We have to be intentional about making those connections.

• Limited capacity is a real issue. Pastors report too few disciple-makers, inadequate training, competing priorities, low interest, and insufficient time.9

• The most important parts of spiritual growth aren’t easy to count. You can track attendance and course completion, but humility, repentance, fortitude, courage, love, and depending on the Spirit don’t fit neatly in a spreadsheet. They may not be easy to count, but you can still see them when they show up.

• Honest, humble evaluation can tell us the truth. A church might find out that no one owns the process, the programs don’t connect, or that baptized believers are slipping through the cracks. Measuring isn’t just a technical thing—it takes pastoral courage. Truth is not our enemy. Facts are our friends. Pastors need humility and honesty to face what’s really happening.

Benchmarks Are Mile Markers, Not Finish Lines

Sometimes churches worry that if we get too clear, we’ll end up with a performance-based culture. But clarity isn’t legalism. A mile marker doesn’t make the journey or prove the traveler is healthy—it just tells us where we are and keeps us honest about the road we’ve traveled.

A church ought to know if someone has confessed Christ, received baptism counseling, attended orientation, been baptized, finished a basic Christian growth class, connected with other believers, started serving, learned to share their testimony, and had a six- and twelve-month check-in. These aren’t grades on holiness. They’re just signs that we’ve built a road to walk on, instead of pointing people off toward the horizon and hoping they find their way.

A Pathway a Normal Church Can Actually Use

#	Benchmark	Usual window	Church’s next faithful action
1	Confess Christ as Savior and Lord	Before baptism	Hear the story; clarify repentance, faith, and the gospel.
2	Complete baptism counseling	Before baptism	Explain baptism, assurance, church membership, and the first ninety days.
3	Discover Our Church	Before or within 30 days	Introduce covenant belonging, beliefs, mission, leaders, and next steps.
4	Baptism	Public beginning	Celebrate public obedience and identify the named post-baptism shepherd.
5	Basics of Christian Growth	Weeks 1–8	Teach and practice Scripture, prayer, worship, church, obedience, service, witness, and perseverance.
6	Relational belonging	By day 30	Connect the believer with a mentor, micro-group, Sunday School class, or small group.
7	Practices becoming rhythms	By day 90	Discuss what is being practiced, what is changing, and where help is needed.
8	Character-growth conversation	Around month 6	Look beneath activity for roots, virtues, fruit, obstacles, and evidence of grace.
9	Service and witness	Months 6–9	Begin a healthy service role; learn to share a testimony and pray for unbelievers.
10	Year-one review and multiplication	Around month 12	Celebrate growth, name the next season, and consider readiness to help another.

This sequence is a framework, not a set of rigid checkpoints. “Discover Our Church” might happen before baptism or right after. A teenager, a shift worker, someone with cognitive challenges, or a new believer coming out of a crisis will all need a different pace. We’ve all seen that. Flexibility is important, but don’t let anyone slip through the cracks. The support we give should fit the person, not the other way around.

What Should We Expect after Baptism?

At baptism, the church should look for a credible profession of repentance and faith, a basic understanding of the gospel, and a willing intention to follow Christ. We’re not looking for a mature Christian life offered as proof that a new Christian life has begun.

After baptism, look for responsiveness, not expertise. Is the person willing to meet, learn, worship, ask honest questions, receive correction, practice basic habits, and take the next step? A new believer might be inconsistent, but don’t let them become invisible. They may be confused, but they can be teachable. They may struggle, but they shouldn’t be left alone.

People start their walk with Christ from all sorts of places—spiritually, emotionally, relationally, mentally, and even physically. We meet them where the Lord saves them, walk with them, and trust that they’ll walk with the Lord. It’s going to be messy and often slow. There will be hard days, but there will be good ones too. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, and it usually grows best in the soil of discipleship.

Two Scorecards, One Disciple

The safest way to measure discipleship is to separate what the church can promise from what only God can produce.

Scorecard One—Church Stewardship. Was a mentor named? Did contact occur? Was the person taught, connected, and invited to take the next step? Did the thirty-day, ninety-day, six-month, and twelve-month conversations happen? Checkboxes belong here because these are commitments the church can keep or neglect.

Scorecard Two—Christian Character Growth. Is the believer learning to live by the Spirit, receive grace, see life through biblical truth, develop Beatitude-shaped roots, practice the means of grace, grow in virtue, and bear Christlike fruit in community and mission? No holiness GPA belongs here. This is a prayerful conversation about direction, dependence, fruit, and a next step.

Lifeway’s national work identifies eight broad discipleship signposts: Bible engagement, obedience, service, witness, faith, seeking God, relationships, and living unashamed.10 Those are useful categories; the Character Tree supplies a complementary picture of how grace, practices, virtues, and fruit belong together.

From Deep Roots to Wide Witness

This is where the Christian Character Tree from my Wide Witness, Deep Roots blog series comes in handy. A course-completion list tells us if the material was covered, but the Tree asks what kind of person is actually being formed. It gives the church a map, but doesn’t turn spiritual growth into a factory assembly line.

Tree image	Formation area	A better question
Atmosphere	Holy Spirit	Is the believer learning dependence rather than religious self-effort?
Sunlight	God’s grace	Is the believer living from acceptance in Christ rather than trying to earn it?
Soil	Truth, goodness, beauty	Is Scripture reshaping what seems real, desirable, and worthy?
Seed	New life in Christ	Is gospel identity taking root through repentance, faith, and assurance?
Roots	Beatitude postures	Are humility, sorrow over sin, meekness, hunger, mercy, purity, peacemaking, and endurance deepening?
Nutrients	2 Peter 1:5–7	Is the believer making grace-enabled effort toward virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, affection, and love?
Sap	Means of grace	Are Scripture, prayer, worship, confession, fellowship, service, and witness becoming rhythms?
Trunk	Prudence, justice, temperance, fortitude	Is the believer becoming wise, just, self-governed, and courageous under pressure?
Limbs	Faith, hope, love	Is life reaching Godward and outward through trust, assurance, and love?
Fruit	Visible Christlikeness	Is the Spirit’s fruit appearing, especially when life is hard?
Orchard	Church, witness, multiplication	Is the believer contributing to the spiritual good of others?

The Tree isn’t meant to be another ladder to climb. Christian growth is more like a garden. The Spirit works through grace, truth, habits, relationships, trials, and time. Growth will be uneven. Sometimes pruning looks like loss before it looks like fruit. The goal isn’t to tape religious fruit onto dead branches. The goal is for the life of Jesus to grow from the inside out.

Dallas Willard described spiritual formation as the renovation of the inner person—thought, feeling, choice, body, relationships, and soul—under Christ.11 The Tree makes that whole-person aim visible while keeping grace and the Spirit prior to effort.

How to Describe Growth without Grading It

At each relational checkpoint, the believer and mentor can choose one description for each area they discuss: not yet introduced, learning, practicing with help, increasingly owned, or helping another. The description is not a rank. A person may be helping another learn prayer while still needing help with forgiveness.

Keep it simple: record four things—evidence of grace, an obstacle or question, one next step, and what support the church can give. Don’t write down private confessions, diagnoses, or details that don’t belong in a ministry file. Track enough to show you care, not enough to make people feel watched.

The Pastor Cannot Be the Entire System

When I was a pastor, I’d hear words like "pathway" and "scorecard" and feel a knot in my stomach. It sounded like another meeting, another spreadsheet, and another job that would end up on my desk whether anyone admitted it or not.

That reaction isn’t laziness. Pastors are already juggling preaching, counseling, hospital visits, conflict, administration, outreach, funerals, emergencies, facilities, family, and their own souls. Barna says pastors struggle most with relationships and personal well-being.12 A system that depends on pastors burning the candle at both ends isn’t a discipleship system—it’s a recipe for burnout.

Ephesians 4 says leaders are to equip the saints so the body builds itself up in love. The pastor’s job is to keep discipleship at the center, teach the vision, train the first leaders, and handle the exceptions. Someone else—maybe a post-baptism shepherd—keeps up with the list. Mentors and groups handle the relationships and practice. The church welcomes the new believer as family.

Robert Coleman emphasized Jesus’ relational pattern of association, demonstration, delegation, supervision, and reproduction.13 Marshall and Payne likewise argue that structures should serve the growth of people in the gospel rather than becoming ends in themselves.14

Teach It Until It Can Be Lived

A curriculum is useful, but information must move toward practice. A simple learning cycle is:

1. Explain one biblical truth and why it matters.

2. Model how a Christian lives it.

3. Practice the next action together.

4. Reflect on what happened and what God exposed.

5. Repeat with support until the practice becomes more natural.

6. Multiply by helping the growing believer show someone else.

Small groups can help: Lifeway found that consistent participation is associated with higher discipleship scores, while warning that attendance alone is not maturity.15 The relational setting matters because formation needs truth, example, practice, correction, encouragement, and time.

Start at Ground Zero

If your church doesn’t have a process right now, you don’t need a big launch. You just need a faithful start:

• Name one owner. Give one trusted person authority to keep the list and prompt follow-up.

• Gather one eight-week cohort. Teach several new believers together rather than multiplying pastor-led meetings.

• Train two or three mentors while the cohort meets. Let them observe, participate, and gradually lead.

• Use the two scorecards. Track church promises clearly and discuss character growth humbly.

• Review the list for fifteen minutes monthly. Celebrate movement, notice disconnection, and assign the next contact.

Beyond the Splash

We don’t have to pick between full baptisteries and deep believers, between evangelism and discipleship, or between celebrating the wedding and building the marriage. Jesus put together what we often split apart: make disciples, baptize them, teach them to obey, and do it together.

The most important question after the water settles isn’t, “Did we get the picture?” It’s, “Who knows this person now?” Who’s going to call? Who will open the Bible with them? Who will listen to the first doubt without panicking? Who will notice when they’re missing? Who will celebrate their first costly obedience? Who will help them become the kind of disciple who can help someone else?

Baptism deserves a celebration. Discipleship deserves a spot on the calendar.

The splash is just the beginning. Let’s make sure the walk gets started too.

Endnotes

Scripture quotations and references are from the English Standard Version unless otherwise noted.

1. Paperlust Admin, "Average Wedding Cost in 2026: Full US Budget Breakdown," Paperlust, June 23, 2026,https://paperlust.co/blog/average-wedding-cost-2026/.

2. Ramblewood Co., "What Is a Full-Service Wedding Planner? Duties, Costs & Benefits Explained," Ramblewood Co., accessed August 18, 2026,https://www.ramblewoodco.com/what-is-a-full-service-wedding-planner-duties-costs-benefits-explained

3. Aaron Earls, “Southern Baptists See Attendance and Baptism Gains amid Membership Declines,” Lifeway Research, May 5, 2026, https://research.lifeway.com/2026/05/05/southern-baptists-see-attendance-and-baptism-gains-amid-membership-declines/

4. Aaron Earls, “Adults Account for Most Baptisms in SBC Congregations,” Lifeway Research, August 13, 2026, https://research.lifeway.com/2026/08/13/adults-account-for-most-baptisms-in-sbc-congregations/.

5. Southern Baptist Convention, “The Baptist Faith and Message 2000,” arts. VI–VII, amended June 14, 2023, https://bfm.sbc.net/bfm2000/.

6. Dallas Willard, The Great Omission: Reclaiming Jesus's Essential Teachings on Discipleship (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2006), xi–xii.

7. Lifeway Research staff, “Lifeway Research’s State of Discipleship Insights Report Equips Leaders for Intentional Disciple Making,” Lifeway Newsroom, June 3, 2026, https://news.lifeway.com/2026/06/03/lifeway-researchs-state-of-discipleship-insights-report-equips-leaders-for-intentional-disciple-making/

8. Aaron Earls, “Most Churches Rarely Evaluate Their Discipleship Strategies,” Lifeway Newsroom, October 7, 2025, https://news.lifeway.com/2025/10/07/most-churches-rarely-evaluate-their-discipleship-strategies/.

9. Aaron Earls, “Lifeway Research Finds Few Pastors Believe Discipleship Tops Their Churches’ Efforts,” Lifeway Newsroom, November 4, 2025, https://news.lifeway.com/2025/11/04/lifeway-research-finds-few-pastors-believe-discipleship-tops-their-churches-efforts/

10. Lifeway Research staff, “Lifeway Research’s State of Discipleship Insights Report.”

11. Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2002).

12. Barna Group, “The Strengths & Struggles of Today’s Pastors,” June 10, 2025, https://www.barna.com/trends/pastoral-flourishing/.

13. Robert E. Coleman, The Master Plan of Evangelism, 2nd ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2006).

14. Colin Marshall and Tony Payne, The Trellis and the Vine: The Ministry Mind-Shift That Changes Everything (Kingsford, Australia: Matthias Media, 2009).

15. Aaron Earls, “Small Group Participation Linked to Higher Discipleship Scores, Lifeway Research Finds,” Lifeway Newsroom, August 4, 2026, https://news.lifeway.com/2026/08/04/small-group-participation-linked-to-higher-discipleship-scores-lifeway-research-finds/.